I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You ruined the universe
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
