So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
