Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
