you guys were way drunker than both of me
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
