you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How does it feel to date your dad?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize