We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
