How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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