i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize