You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My bed smells like the plague
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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