Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
