just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize