I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
