So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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