I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Someone signed my nipple.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
