i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have feelings that need drinking.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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