It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
