:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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