I just made out with a guy for $7.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
