oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
