thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
