whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
