yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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