u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
