I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
