i permit you to call me
You can't motorboat a personality
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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