he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
