someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize