i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Couch. On fire.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
