I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
