i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
