Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
