I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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