I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
