The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
