and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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