It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
