i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
