Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
