she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize