great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
