it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
