Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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