I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
