from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
