I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think my moral compass just broke
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
