her vagine was all disorganized.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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