It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
