sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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