Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
