Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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