Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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