i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
