My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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