Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
