I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
