Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
