my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize